I wouldn’t say that I’m necessarily the person to come to for stuff like this, but I am glad that you came to someone, and I will certainly do my best to help in any way that I can. 

I know that it’s really difficult to talk to people about things like this, and I can’t tell you that it’s going to get any easier to do that, but what I can say is that it’s really important to confide in someone. It’s impossible to get through something like this alone, and that means that you have to have some level of communication about this with someone. It doesn’t necessarily have to be someone you know in real life, and it doesn’t even have to be un-Anon, but it is really invaluable to have someone in your life, online or off, who knows what you’re going through to some degree (you don’t have to tell them details or anything like that). No matter what, I encourage you to talk to someone about this. Talking to me is a great start, and I will definitely be here for you if you choose me as one of the people you want to confide in to a greater degree, but I would suggest someone who is closer to you, who knows you better.

If you really do feel like it’s depression and you’re ready to take the steps to deal with this as such, talking to a parent, teacher, or counseler will be a real help to you and will help you take steps to deal with this on a long term scale as well as a short one. I cannot stress upon you enough that you are not alone, and that you don’t need to be alone in dealing with whatever it is you’re struggling with. 

And then, I guess just do the things that make you feel the happiest. If you’re having difficulty caring, pick the things that you still care the most about and put a lot of positive energy into those things- when I struggle most with myself and issues like this, I become way more passionate about things that would normally just be good things in my life, like Harry Potter a few years ago and Nerdfighteria now. These things are overwhelmingly positive and help me to find myself and stay myself while still keeping me in touch with other people- I can’t force you to become a huge Harry Potter fan or anything, but if there’s something like that that you’re a part of like volleyball or piano or something, I urge you to utilize that. 

Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do, and try to believe in hope. The world may be broken, but hope is not crazy.